Tweens: The REAL Product Whores

Wow, I thought my beauty-booty habit was bad. Turns out tweens, those 9-12-year-olds who are unfortunately the target of all entertainment and brand advertising these days, are spending $500 million a year on beauty products.

For the love! I remember when I was that age, Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker was a luxury. The thought of glopping on eyeliner and pancake makeup just didn’t enter my mind.

OK, time for a PSA to tween girls: Makeup is, indeed, awesome. But it’s really meant to hide flaws and enhance those features that need a little enhancement. If you haven’t even hit puberty, chances are your skin is flawless. Relish this time – it won’t last!

CoffeeBerry – Best Antioxidant Ever?

The beauty industry started buzzing about the CoffeeBerry in 2006. Two years later, the pros (dermatologists, that is) are still pimping the stuff like it were the fountain of youth itself. So, what’s the big deal?

CB promises super-hero-like defense against skin-damaging free radicals, which are known to damage cells and lead to premature aging. Many products are known to defend in this manner — green tea, pomegranate and vitamin C to name a few, but CoffeeBerry claims to be the bestest, boasting 60% more ORAC (Oxygen Radical Absorbent Capacity) values than the rest. Of course, everyone should be slathering on antioxidants because not only do they fight that ticking clock, but they also prevent cancer.

The product with the highest concentration of CoffeeBerry is also the first one on the market: RevaléSkin. The site’s depth totally suckered me in, so I snatched up some of the day lotion from my dermatologist. The hundred-dollar price tag was a sting, but the mild lotion felt like nothing on my skin and overnight I could feel the areas around my eyes, mouth and forehead tighten just a bit. Plus, it smells yummy.

“That’s a Botox Situation”

I love my dermatologist for her candid analysis of high-priced face creams (“mostly bullshit”), SPF 60s and above (“SPF 30 is all anyone can do”) and the general wealth of beauty information out there (“some good research, not a lot of facts”). So I eagerly queried her about the best method of attack for a stubborn line that’s beginning to appear between my brows. Could there be a new antioxidant cream that could gently slough it away; a Retin-A wonder that could erase it; a deep moisturizer that could fill it up? No. Apparently, what I have here is a crease caused by years of frowning (I’d like to think it came from deep thought and steadfast concentration). In other words, “a Botox situation.”

Take 2 of These With a Tall Glass of Placenta…

I am all for harvesting nourishing, anti-aging ingredients from just about anything (unless said harvesting inflicts harm on living things). But I think I might draw the line at slapping afterbirth on my face. A Japanese company called Nihon Sofuken has managed to package and market a line of products called Placenta 360000, which contain—yes—afterbirth. There’s face cream, gel pills and for the really brave, an energy drink. The good news is it’s not actually human. They use what they call “wholesome Japanese pigs.” As opposed to the unwholesome kind, I guess. They also claim to specially screen all the pigs and remove traces of blood, hormones, toxins and disease agents. Then they make it smell/taste like peach, which is nice.

Gag-inducing or not, the health properties of the placenta have been well documented (it’s the basis for potentially life-saving stem-cell research, for starters). But I don’t know how I feel about ingesting what a warm body just expelled, pig or not. Then again, 10 years ago Botox seemed inhumane and deplorable…

Vanity Is Underrated

OK, so I love beauty products. No, seriously, I LOVE beauty products; am quite obsessed with them, actually. One might call me a … well, you see the name of the blog.

Now, while I am unabashedly girly, my interest in beauty also relates to the value I place in a healthy lifestyle and the products that can help achieve the looks of a healthy lifestyle. What’s the point of all that exercise, organic eating, meditation and education if Mother Nature still gets the last laugh? Cruel, cruel bitch, that one.

Therefore, I bring to you this blog, which will be a mix of news, random musings and editorial analysis of all-things relating to preserving the outside so that our inner beauty has a shot.

My creds: I’ve been working as a journalist for nearly a decade, four years of which I covered beauty professionally–reviewing everything from L’Oreal to La Mer. Here I’ll do so a little more candidly.

I’m also one of the founding partners of SirensMag.com, a hip, alternative online magazine that celebrates beauty in an intellectual way. Ditto sexual openness, relationship ups-and-downs, political perspective, good entertainment, great literature and everything else that makes women the complex creatures that they are.

Now, I know I’m not alone in my product whorishness, so please join in the discussion below.